Life as a Logical Overthinker

I came up with the formula for a perfect relationship the other day. My friends laughed and asked me why I'm dedicating my time to something as silly as that. Truth is, I don't even know. Yes, I am a hopeless romantic who dreams of being given flowers or dancing in the rain, but that wasn't why I wanted the formula. I wanted the formula because to my brain that constantly goes in circles, this just made sense. It helped something as unpredictable as love, simple down to a few numbers and letters.

Which brings me to another point; how beautiful it is when someone understands the way you think, and thinks somewhat the same way. And when I say this I don't mean they have the same ideals and morals, just that they understand the way your brain functions. They make sense of the loopholes and the labyrinthine that is your brain.

For those of you who are curious, which I would like to assume is most of you, the formula I discovered for the perfect relationship is as follows: physical attraction (a) + physical attraction (b) + mental attraction (a) + mental attraction (b) + effort (a) + effort (b) + amount of time talking + 2(C8H11NO2 + C10H12N2O + C43H66N12O12S2) = relationship. The limitations to this equation are that the amount of time talking has to be equal to or greater than 2 months, attraction (a) = attraction (b) , and effort (a) = effort (b); A and B represent the people not actual numbers and the long chemical equation at the end is serotonin + dopamine + oxytocin.

Like my friends you may be laughing to yourself saying, what is a teenage girl doing focusing on the formula for a perfect relationship. I will tell you that this is just one of the many things that keeps me awake at night. I would like to make sure everything goes exactly as I feel it should, and this equation is just one of the many ways I maintain that. Hypothetically if I were to start a relationship with someone and everything doesn't line up exactly as it should to the standards of the formula (ex: I put in more effort than them in talking), then I know that the relationship isn't built to last. It's logical but at the same time a moment of overthinking.

Which now brings me to another point in the purpose of this post. Elizabeth Zott. I have fallen in love with the female protagonist Elizabeth Zott from the novel "Lessons in Chemistry" by Bonnie Garmus. I relate to her so much, especially her relationship with fellow scientist Calvin Evans. Evans and Zott's relationship confuse so many because unlike most relationships it isn't based on physical attraction, something which modern day relationships also tend to focus on. They understand the way the other thinks and like them for it, and I think that is so underrated. I have found myself relating to Elizabeth because of her feminist "I'll prove society wrong" mentality. SPOILER: Zott fights the idea of marriage to Evan's because she doesn't want to be known for his legacy. Something I find myself thinking about daily.

I want to make a name for myself before marriage so that people will know me solely by my first name, no need for the last. This being another of the things that keeps me awake at night; my legacy. Surprisingly it falls in line with my equation and brings things to a perfect closing.

Hilariously enough I was the same way I am today when I was growing up. Headstrong, and opinionated. I loved to debate and constantly talked about my plans to change the world. In modern society, yes, certain people appreciate a #girlboss, but the great majority don't. I tried to dim my inner flame for so long because when I looked at other girls on TV or in movies, they weren't like me, and they usually got the guy. The girls like me who chose to focus on education and "changing the world" usually got books, and occasionally a cat. There is nothing wrong with that, personally I would prefer a dog, but the standards we are setting for our youth are beyond disappointing. We are telling girls that "pretty isn't smart, but sometimes pretty isn't pretty enough. So, you will forever be undesirable and alone. Sorry that's just the way the world works. Have fun, and oh don't forget to not wear makeup but don't look tired!"

This is why I started my organization Beauty Within You (self promotion, shocking I know). I wanted to show girls that you can still change the world, and paint your nails twice a week. You don't have to totally abandon femininity just to have your voice heard. I am choosing to put my voice out there as an advocate and a voice. I want to show them that the way they're feeling isn't totally out of the ordinary, in fact more women experience it than they think.

So to end this off: read the book, use the formula, believe in yourself.

-XO, Eleanor