GET OUT OF MY HOUSE!

I recently learned that I have been playing house my whole life. Insane realization, right? For those of you unfamiliar with what I mean by "playing house" it's basically a childhood playground game where you pretend to have a family and you have specified roles. But in my case, I'm playing alone, until someone else wants to play; and in that case, they have to play by my rules because this is my house. I've been like this since I was a kid. When I had friends over and we would play dolls, we all had to follow my storyline because otherwise I felt like nothing would work. To me, it didn't seem like they had a plan at all, they were the "go with the flow" types. I, however, am the type to have my life planned out as much as I can. I think about the future that I envision for myself and set goals that I need to achieve in order to have that future. My family joked at Thanksgiving that I have everything planned out to-a-T, but during these moments I would just exchange silent glances at my mother because we both know that I actually do.

But there was a point in my life where I got to my lowest of lows and just stopped planing. I didn't see a point in it because I truly thought I didn't have a future. But then I made a decision and got a second chance at life, and like all second chances, this one was not to be wasted. I chose to not lose hope and to keep going, because I had seen a different side to things that most people don't see until they die. That may be one of the reasons why I work so hard and I push myself, because I know how valuable this time is. My theories and crazy ideas can only be executed by me so why push them off? This doesn't mean I don't have bad days, I'm human, but what I will tell you is that I do my best to dust myself off, dry up my tears, and keep moving. It's like in theater, you "fake it till you make it" and that's my mentality for life.

I KNOW WHAT YOU'RE ABOUT TO SAY: "A: Eleanor you sound like Hamilton with this whole "running out of time, I need a legacy" thing and B: ElEaNoR, yOu'Ve AlReAdY tAlKeD aBoUt BeInG aN oVeRtHiNkEr BeFoRe." Just let me cook, I'm getting there. I read another book. *Gasp* but isn't that how one gains knowledge? Yes, yes it is, and the knowledge I have gained is quite eye opening. What book have I read exactly? Mr. and Mrs. American Pie by Juliet McDaniel. Fictional, yes, but impactful nonetheless. Maxine Hortence and Elizabeth Zott have now been ingressed into my hall of female role models along with Selena Gomez, my mother, her mother, and my great-grandmother. Maxine faces a lot of challenges in the novel and handles them with strategy and poise. She calls it her Elba, reference to where Napoleon was exiled, and much like him she turns it into her paradise.

Which brings me to the topic of today: The ability to turn your life around practically overnight.

We all know how life isn't exactly fair with the cards that it deals. Some people seem to be fortunate enough that their lives are practically laid out for them on a silver platter, and all they have to do is not destroy it. But others have to build from the ground up, and I personally think that the latter is much better. I am choosing to take an active role in creating my own future through planning. If I were to leave my actions up to someone else, I doubt I would be where I am today. And I think that is something that too many people fail to realize.

I watched a philosopher explain once that the moment you change your paradigms (thought patterns) then you will change your life. Example: I used to live my life dictated by what others had to say about me, or what I thought they were saying behind my back. I had a few bad experiences and that ruled my mind. I finally realized I was miserable. So I decided to change my paradigms. Whenever a group of people was talking somewhere near me, I just reminded myself, "You don't know if they're talking about you, and if they are, then you at least know their true intentions." My self confidence shot through the roof. I was no longer as worried about what was going on around me. Now when I say, don't care about what people have to say about you, I don't mean go against social norms. There is a time and place for everything, and confidence isn't about the clothes you wear, or the identity you have, it's about how you see yourself. Anyone can be confident, no matter who they are.

So, you (the reader) can change your lives overnight by changing your patterns of thought. I know that might not be the exact answer you were hoping for, but it is a change you can make. And the later you push back the start date, the later you are going to become the best version of yourself. Kick the bad things out of your house and make life your Elba.

-XO, Eleanor